


Show Me The Stars

by KaitlynSpeight



Series: Be The Light [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff, Kidnapping, M/M, Missing Persons, Unhappy Sam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-06
Updated: 2016-01-06
Packaged: 2018-05-12 18:34:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5676313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaitlynSpeight/pseuds/KaitlynSpeight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things have never been easy for Sam, but Gabriel has always been there to help hold him up when things got hard. Until he wasn't. And how do you cope when the one thing you thought you'd always have vanishes without a trace?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Show Me The Stars

“Gabriel,” Sam curled himself tighter around his boyfriend’s shirt, this couldn’t be happening. 

 

“Gabriel, you need to come home,” he whimpered, a sob wracking his body, “you have to be okay.” 

 

He sniffed, tears streaming off his face and quickly disappearing into their shared blankets. 

 

Everything was  _ theirs _ , Sam didn’t even know who he was without the other man…

 

_ Missing, no leads, closing the case _ . 

 

It had been three years, but this made it feel like a fresh wound.

_ I’m sorry son, it’s been three years and we still have nothing, we can’t keep wasting the manpower, we’re pronouncing him dead. _

 

“You can’t be gone.” 

 

He had left everything in the apartment as it had been when they made it theirs, just waiting for Gabriel to come home. 

 

Waiting for him to fill the house with light again, to make it a home.

  
  


~~~~

  
  


“Heya, kiddo!” Gabriel flopped down next to the smaller boy, smiling down at him. “Can I share? My big brother took all my shovels.” He pouted, “I’ll trade you a lollipop!” 

 

Sam looked up, cocking his head to the side, “yeah! Do you want green or yellow? The blue one is Dean’s.” Sam held out the two shovels, and Gabriel shrugged, “I guess I’ll take green! Thank you! I’m Gabriel, but you can call me Gabe,” he said, holding out the promised lolli for Sam. 

 

“Sam,” he replied, quickly unwrapping the sweet and popping it in his mouth.

“Do you wanna build a sand castle? I have buckets over with my parents!” Sam announced happily, bounding up and running over to his parents while Gabe trailed behind him. 

 

“Hi mommy, this is Gabe, we’re gonna build a sand castle!” Sam cheered, pointing at his new friend. 

 

Mary chuckled, “that’s great, Sammy, have fun.” 

 

John wrapped an arm around his wife, “hey, aren’t you the Milton’s boy?” 

 

Gabriel nodded with a quiet “yessir.”

 

John smiled, “well I think we’ll be seeing a lot of you then, Gabe, we just moved in next door.” 

 

Sam turned to his friend, his eyes wide in wonder, “we live next door to each other?! That’s so cool! We’re gonna be best friends!”

“Heya, Sammy” another boy said, plunking past the pair and stopping in front of Mary. “Mom can I have a drink?” 

 

Mary nodded “of course, Dean” she handed him a water bottle and he gulped it down before turning back to Sam and Gabe. 

 

“Hi Dean! This is Gabe! He lived next door to us and we’re gonna be bestest friends!” 

 

Dean laughed and ruffled his brother’s hair, “yeah, alright, kid.” 

 

Sam stuck his tongue out at Dean before leading Gabe back over to the sand pit and beginning to shovel sand into one of the buckets.

“Gabe, kiddo, we gotta get going!” 

 

Gabe frowned, looking over at the scruffy man calling him, “but pa we’re building a sand castle!” 

 

The man sighed and looked away, “I’m sorry, Gabriel, but we really have to get home.” 

 

Sam looked between his new friend and the half-filled bucket in his lap, “it’s okay, we can build sand castles some other time, right?!” 

 

Gabriel nodded, standing up and brushing sand off of his butt. “Of course, kiddo,” he answered, ruffling Sam’s hair as he walked over to his father. 

 

For some reason, it didn’t bother Sam as much as when Dean did it.

  
  


~~~~

  
  


“Sam, I know it hurts, but you need to let go.” 

 

Sam shook his head, “Jess he’s out there somewhere, the police aren’t looking anymore, he needs me!” 

 

Jessica shook her head, she knew she would always be Sam’s second choice, he couldn’t help it, his heart would always belong to Gabriel, but it was getting more difficult to deal with as of late. “And what if he’s not, Sam? It's been a year since the  _ police  _ gave up. What if he really is… What if he is gone? Are you going to throw your life away for nothing?”

Sam growled low in his throat, “Gabriel is not nothing.” His words were coated in venom, meant to hurt, but Jess just sighed in response. 

 

“I know, Sam, I know how much you love him…” She looked at her hands, “what would Gabriel want you to do right now? You need to go to work, you need to stop looking for him, he would want that. He wouldn’t want you to throw everything away for him.”

 

Sam slumped forward in his chair, all of the fight leaving him, “he wouldn’t, I know you’re right, but… What if he’s out there, Jess? What if he’s hurting?” 

 

Jessica finally looked up and met her boyfriend’s tear filled eyes, “Sam,” she paused, gently running her fingers over his cheek. Sam closed his eyes, tears overflowing, and leaned into the touch with a soft sigh, “if someone took him, if they were hurting him… They would have gotten rid of him by now, one way or another.”

Sam grabbed onto her hand, holding it tightly against his face as a sob ripped from his chest. She was right, he knew she was right, but how could he let go? It’s not like it was hurting anyone to call the local hospitals and shelters, but... it was. 

 

It was killing him to hold on, he needed to let himself stop, but how could he? 

 

Gabriel was everything. Without him Sam didn’t know who he was, hadn’t found himself in four years, not with Jessica, not with his friends, not with his work. 

 

Still... Jess was right, Gabriel would want him to move on, he would want him to be happy again.

 

~~~~

 

_ Clink. Clink. Clink. _

“Gabriel?” Sam asked, opening his window, only to get hit in the forehead with a pebble. 

 

“Heya, kiddo! Sorry about the forehead!” 

 

Sam rolled his eyes, “you could have knocked on the door, you moron.” 

 

Gabriel raised an eyebrow, “where would the fun be in that, get down here, will you?” 

 

Sam grumbled, closing his window, and grabbing a jacket before jogging down the stairs. “Goin’ out with Gabe” he called into the living room, where his parents and Dean were watching something on the television. 

 

“Be safe,” Mary called back and Sam ran out the door.

“So what are we doing?” Sam hummed, stomping on an autumn leaf and smiling at the satisfying crunch under his sneaker. 

 

“Pft, Samshine, you should know by now I’m not gonna tell you what I have planned.” 

 

Sam shook his head, pushing his hair absently from his face, “of course, you ass.”

 

Gabe stuck out his tongue, ruffling in his bag for a moment before pulling a Coors halfway out, “wanna keep asking?” 

 

Sam’s eyes widened and he shook his head, “Gabriel you are god.

Gabriel laughed, eyes shining with mirth, “flattery will get you nowhere, Sammich.” He pulled them off the sidewalk and into the woods, following a small path for another couple minutes. 

 

“Hey guys, the party has arrived!” Gabe announced as they walked into a clearing. 

 

Sam blushed, sitting down on an old barrel, trying to stem the growing panic. He didn't know there would be other people. He hated being around other people. Gabe knew that. 

 

“Hey, Gabe, Sam” Garth called, leaning back on the grass. 

 

“Hey guys,” Balthazar held up a hand, catching the beer Gabe threw him and handing it to the girl laying across his lap. 

 

“Sam, that’s Amelia, Balth’s girlfriend.” 

 

Sam blushed and nodded, “hi, I’m Sam,” he muttered.

 

Heyo” she smiled, cracking open the can and taking a swig.

Gabe finished handing out the cans, grabbing two for him and Sam and flopping down on the younger boy’s lap. “Sorry, kiddo, nowhere left to sit.”

 

Sam looked around at the expanse of junk and grass available around the small group, but couldn’t bring himself to care.

“Sam, you okay?” Gabe whispered, leaning back against him, not like anyone else was listening but he appreciated the gesture. 

 

“You know I don’t like groups, Gabe, why did you bring me here?” Sam breathed, his voice an octave higher than normal, he didn’t kn _ ow these people _ . 

 

At least, not nearly well enough to be comfortable. If it was just one of them he would be okay, even if Gabe wasn't there, but three? He couldn't do this, he couldn't breathe, he felt sick.

“I’m sorry, Samshine, I was hoping you would make some new friends, Balth and Garth are great guys.” 

 

Sam shook his head, looking down. “I’m sure they are but…” He trailed off, squeezing his eyes shut and taking a large swallow of the bitter beer.  

 

“We can go, come on, it’s alright.” 

 

Sam shook his head, “no, they’re your friends, I’ll head out, you have fun.” 

 

Gabe rolled his eyes and stood up, “I don’t feel good, guys, Sam’s gonna take me home. You guys can finish off the pack.” He took the nearly empty pack out of his bag and set it on the ground before slinging the empty sack over his shoulder.

There was a small chorus of “cya, Gabe, bye, Sam,”s as they walked out of the clearing that left Sam blinking back tears, unable to look at Gabe

 

Why did he have to be so shy, he was going to ruin his friendship, Gabe and Dean were the only people he could talk to, and he was gonna drive Gave away.

 

“Samshine, stop beating yourself up. I know how it is, that was my fault, relax, alright?” 

 

Sam peeked over at his friend, sighing, “we’re in high school now, and I’m still such a baby.” He muttered and Gabe reached out, squeezing his hand.

“You’re not a baby, Sammy, you’re shy, there’s nothing wrong with that. I’ll be here no matter what.” 

 

Sam sighed, nodding and leaning against his friend, “thank you, Gabe, for everything. You’re the best.” 

 

Gabe smiled and leaned his cheek on Sam’s hair, “of course, kiddo.”

~~~~

“Do you, Sam Winchester, take Jessica Moore as your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?”

“I do.”

“And do you, Jessica Moore, take Sam Winchester as your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?”

“I do.”

“Then I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride.” 

 

Jessica wiped a stray tear from her new husband’s cheek, smiling sympathetically at him, she knew this was hard, but it was a big step. Sam did love her, she knew he did, he just loved Gabriel more. 

 

Sam smiled at her, gently cupping her cheek and leaning down to press their lips together. 

 

“He would be happy for you Sam, try to smile,” she whispered when the parted, and Sam choked on a sob, nodding.

“I know, I’m happy, I am, I just…” 

 

Jessica shook her head, “I know, I’m not going to replace him, I never will, you’ve known that, we both have, it’s okay.” 

 

Sam took her hand, walking with her back up the aisle, through the cheering group of friends and family. 

 

“How did I ever get someone like you?” He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her against him, pressing a kiss to her temple. 

 

“Just lucky, I guess,” she teased, leaning against him as they walked, climbing into their rented limo.

“Damn right I am,” he smiled, pulling her into his lap and resting his head on her shoulder, “I don’t know how I’m going to deal with his family, I wish they hadn’t come.” 

 

Jess smiled sadly, “you don’t mean that, you wanted them here.” 

 

Sam sighed resolutely, “I know I did, I do, but it’s gonna suck.” 

 

“I know Sam, I’m sorry.”

 

~~~

 

“Heya, Sammy, what’s going on? You look sick.” Gabe smirked up at his best friend.  _ Up, since when was it up?  _

 

“Gee, thanks, Gabriel.” Sam grumbled, looking down at his feet, “it’s nothing, I just... Nothing, just being dumb. So you have a date to prom?” Sam stuttered, trying to act normal. 

 

“Nah, don’t know if I’m gonna go actually, not really my style, crowds and such.” 

 

Sam rolled his eyes, “Gabriel, you love crowds.”

Gabriel sighed and slumped down, as if it was some great inconvenience to explain. “You caught me, I figured you wouldn’t be going so I was just gonna stay home and invite you over to watch some movies or something.” 

 

Sam dropped his eyes to his feet and Gabe pouted, “see this is exactly why I wasn’t gonna say anything, I don’t mind, really. School dances are lame anyway!”

“No, that’s not… I want you to go with me! Erm, as friends of course.” Sam looked away, his face must be scarlet. He knew he should have just texted Gabe about it last night. How could he think he could look at this man and not make an utter fool of himself? His little puppy crush on Gabe had grown tenfold since freshman year and now he could barely function around his best friend. This had to stop.

When he finally got the nerve to look at Gabriel again, the shorter man was smiling up at him, something Sam couldn’t place glimmering in his eyes. “Of course, Kiddo,” he said, a grin splitting his cheeks. He reached out and squeezed Sam’s arm, before turning and vanishing into the sea of students scurrying to class.

 

~~~~

 

“Sam, is everything okay?” Jessica called, pulling her robe tighter around her middle as she followed the muffled sounds of whimpers through their house. 

 

She found him curled up in the old master bedroom, they had never gotten around to finishing the remodeling, and Sam liked to hide in the empty room when things became too much. 

 

“’M fine, Jess, just… I had the dream.” 

 

Jessica sighed and wrapped him in her arms, gently taking the t-shirt from his hands. “And you expected to wake up next to him and not me.” 

 

Sam nodded, relinquishing his hold on Gabe’s shirt in favor of clinging to his wife.

“I’m sorry, Sam, I really am,” Sam nodded against her, hiding his face in her hair. 

 

He felt so pathetic, Jessica deserved so much better than this, so much better than him. She deserved to be someone’s first choice, he was doing better, they were happy… Most of the time. 

 

But sometimes, on nights like these, when he dreamed about his old life, the one with Gabriel, the one when they would stay up together until three in the morning, side by side talking about everything and nothing. 

 

Where they would go to the field outside of the city and watch the stars until they fell asleep. 

 

Where they would picnic under the oak tree in the park. 

 

Where they would curl up, close enough to breathe the same air every night. 

 

When he woke up expecting Gabriel next to him, and instead reached out to find Jessica, on nights like that they weren’t so happy. Neither of them.

“I love you,” Sam mumbled.

 

“I know,” Jessica replied, helping him to his feet and gently leading him back to their room. 

 

“I’m trying.” 

 

Jessica sighed and wrapped her arms around him, “I know you are, Sam, and you’re getting better, this is the first time this month. I’m proud of you, he would be happy too.” 

 

Sam nodded, leaning his head on her shoulder. He knew Gabe would want him happy, want him to move on, so why did he feel like a traitor?

“I wish you could meet him,” Sam whispered, and Jess closed her eyes.

 

She knew it never would have happened, if Gabriel was still here they wouldn’t have met, and if he came back now, Sam would go with him, but the sentiment was still staggering. 

 

She smiled and leaned her cheek against his hair, breathing him in, “I wish I could have too, he sounds like a truly amazing man.” 

 

Sam nodded, “he was.”

 

~~~~

 

“Heya- wow.” Gabriel breathed, his eyes raking over his best friend. When he managed to pick his jaw up off the floor, he gave a low whistle. “Damn, kiddo, you clean up nice, how come I’ve never seen you in a suit?” 

 

Sam blushed and looked down at his feet, scuffing the toe of his shoe on the porch, “never had a reason to dress up. I uh, got Dean to loan me the car for the night.” 

 

Gabriel beamed, finally regaining control of his body and linking arms with Sam, “let’s go then, Samshine, I’m sure that place is in desperate need of the party king.”

Sam chuckled and opened the door for Gabe, closing it behind him before climbing into the driver’s side and starting the car. “Yes, how could our poor classmates ever survive without the king of all things fun? I have done Carver High a great service by convincing you to go with me.” Sam glances over at his friend, surprised to find the teasing glint missing from Gabriel’s eyes, in its place is something that could only be called adoration. 

 

“You’re the only one I’d go with, Sammich.”

Sam blinked, looking back at the road, Gabriel’s voice had been quite, reverent, nothing like his usual boisterous self. 

 

And what did that mean? ‘You’re the only one I go with,’ surely Gabriel had a crush on someone, someone he would rather go with. He only put Sam first because Sam couldn’t handle himself, not because he didn’t have anyone better to spend time with. Because that’s what Gabriel Milton was, under all the pranks and sarcasm and snark, he cared enough to put Sam first, because he knew he was all that Sam had.

The rest of the drive passed in silence, and by the time they arrived at the rented hotel, Sam was squirming in his seat. 

 

Maybe he had made a mistake asking Gabriel to go with him, he was usually comfortable around the shorter man, but that didn’t seem to be the case tonight. Not with his rampant crush, not with Gabriel looking so amazing in a tux, deep blue, with a gold tie. 

 

Sam looked down at his own black tux, blue tie matching Gabriel’s jacket, he had thought he looked decent in the mirror, but next to Gabriel he just felt muted.

“Come on, kiddo, I wanna show you off!” Gabe hopped out of the car, latching on to Sam’s arm and dragging him into the building. 

 

“I think I’m gonna be the one showing you off,” Sam murmured, staring fondly at Gabe as he eagerly hustled towards the door, nails digging into Sam’s wrist. 

 

He tossed a scandalized look over his shoulder, “you underestimate just how magnificent you look, Sammoose, I look like a frog compared to you.

Sam rolled his eyes, tensing as Gabriel dragged him into the dance hall. He made a mistake... 

 

Dean had insisted, though, ‘ _ it’s your senior prom, Sammy, you have to go, just ask Gabe or something, _ ` Sam had chosen to ignore the wink that came with that comment.

Gabe seemed to sense his hesitance, cause he dragged them to a quiet – as quiet as it could be – table in the back of the hall and sat down, his grip shifting down to Sam’s hand. “I’m proud of you, ya know.”

 

Sam looked up, surprised, “why on earth are you proud of me?” 

 

Gabe rolled his eyes, squeezing Sam’s fingers gently, “you’re here, you wanted to come and you did. I’m glad I got to be the one to come with you.” 

 

Sam blushed and squeezed Gabriel’s hand back, "I’m glad you’re with me too."

They sat silently for a while, listening to the pounding music, Gabe politely avoiding all the conversation and dance invitations he received until the intro to Bubblegum Bitch started playing. 

 

Sam yanked Gabe to his feet, “come on, this is your favorite song!” 

 

Gabriel laughed and ran to the floor with Sam grabbing onto his other hand and rocking together, careful not to get too close. 

 

“I’m miss sugar pink liquor liquor lips!” Gabe sang, laughing happily. A moment later he dropped Sam’s hands, pointing at the man and shimmying in place, waggling his eyebrows as he sang along. “I’m gonna be your bubblegum bitch.” 

 

Sam nearly collapsed with laughter, “was that supposed to be sexy or something?” He yelled over the music and Gabe shrugged, smirk firmly in place, as he grabbed Sam’s hands again.

After the song ended, Sam started to head back to their table, but Gabe pulled him back to the floor, wrapping his arms around his waist as Brilliant Days filled the room. 

 

“And this is your favorite song, so dance with me.” He said calmly, swaying in time with the music. 

 

Sam blushed, wrapping his arms around the shorter man, “alright, I can do that” he whispered, tucking his face into Gabriel’s sweet-smelling hair.

“You know, I know you like me, Sam.” 

 

Sam froze, slowly lifting his head from Gabriel’s and drawing his arms away, letting them fall at his side. 

 

He knew he hadn’t been great about hiding it, he shouldn’t have been so careless, Gabriel was going to leave... He was going to lose the one good thing he had, he wouldn’t be able to live without Gabriel. He was the only person that was capable of dragging Sam out of his shell, even if it was only a little bit, without him Sam wouldn’t have anyone. Anything. 

 

He couldn’t go to college without Gabe backing him up, he knew that, he couldn’t do anything. He would wind up old and alone living in his parent’s basement. 

 

Oh god how could he let Gabe figure it out?

“Hey, hey Sammy, sh, shhh, that’s not why I told you I know, relax, I’m not going anywhere, okay? Come here, it’s alright, you’re okay. Everything's okay,” Gabriel pulled Sam closer to him, wrapping the taller man tightly in his arms. “

 

“Shh, listen to me Samshine, breathe, it’s okay.” Sam took a deep breath and nodded, hiding his face in Gabriel’s hair and breathing him in.

 

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to, you’re just… you. And you’re always so good to me and I didn’t mean to fall for you, I tried not to, you’re my best friend, Gabe, I really tried.”

Gabriel huffed a laugh into Sam’s chest before pulling away, just to look up at him, “like I said, that’s not why I told you.” 

 

Sam blushed, suddenly aware how close they were, pressed together from thigh to chest, “yeah? T-then wh-why did yo-you tell m-me?” He stammered, barely a breath. 

 

Gabe smiled gently, tucking Sam’s hair off of his forehead. “Because I know you’re not going to make a move unless I give you a very explicit go ahead, so, Sam Winchester, I am so much more than okay with it if you want to make a move, if you want to ask me out, if you want to do anything as more than friendly cause god knows I’ve been dying for you to since freshman year.”

Sam forgot how to breath, his heart stuttering in his chest and he briefly wondered if he could be having a heart attack. “You… want me to… What?” 

 

Gabriel chuckled, standing on his toes to press a kiss to Sam’s cheek. “I am in love with you, and I know you like me too, so I thought I’d make it abundantly clear that anything you want, I’m up for.” 

 

Sam searched Gabriel’s eyes, always the easiest part of him to read, and found nothing but honestly. “You… Sure?” Gabriel chuckled again, nodding.

The song ended, and this time Gabriel detangled himself, grabbing Sam’s hand and leading him to their table. 

 

“Why would you want someone like me?” Sam blurted and Gabriel stopped, turning to face him, a sad smile on his lips. 

 

“Someone like what? Smart? Beautiful? Funny? Sweet? Thoughtful? Sam do you remember what you did for my birthday this year?” 

 

Sam blushed, “I didn’t have much money, so I got you a bouquet of forget-me-nots from mom’s garden and-“

“Why that type of flower? Why not roses or something more traditional?” 

 

Sam wrinkled his nose, “you hate roses, forget-me-nots are your favorite... we planted them over Scraps’ grave when he died because you loved the idea of it. Faithfulness and eternal love.” 

 

Gabriel led Sam the rest of the way to the table and sat down before replying, “Sam, not another soul knows I love that flower. No one else would care enough to remember that I do if I told them. That’s the same for everything, you know me for me, and you genuinely care about my happiness...” 

 

Sam looked away, “but you’re so popular, and you’re my only friend, and I don’t-“

“Sam, shut up. I want you, okay?” 

 

Sam closed his eyes and took a deep breath, “if this doesn’t work out, I’m going to lose you.” 

 

Gabriel shook his head, shifting into Sam’s lap. “Baby no, if this doesn’t work out, we’re going to go back to how we are right now, but we’re gonna work out. We practically live together, have all our lives, you know everything there is to possibly know about me, and I do about you, so there won’t be any surprises.” 

 

Sam nodded slowly, “Gabriel?” 

 

Gabe stopped petting Sam’s hair and met his eye, “yeah, Sammy?” 

 

Sam blushed and looked at his lap, tentatively setting a hand on Gabriel’s thigh. “Kiss me?” 

 

Gabe tucked Sam’s hair behind his ear and nodded, “of course, kiddo.”

 

~~~~

 

"So, Sam, I... I want you to tell me about you and Gabriel, if you don't mind." 

 

Sam froze, staring at his wife, fork halfway between his mouth and the plate. "You already know everything about Gabe and I." He said, hoping to end the conversation. 

 

"Actually, you've never really told me anything, I know you love him, and I know he helped you a lot as a kid, but you've never told me anything about when you were together."

Sam sighed and set his fork on his plate, "why do you want to know? It's just going to hurt both of us to talk about it." 

 

Jess shook her head, "I don't think it will, actually. I think it'll do you good to talk about him, remember the good, and I... I want to know." 

 

Sam nodded slowly, rubbing his hand down his face, "alright, what do you want to know?"

"Anything you want to tell me, what did you do for dates? Did you have any special places you went? Who topped?" 

 

Sam made a disgruntled noise and glared at his wife, who was giggling over her dinner. "Well, uh, we used to go to that field outside the city. There's a huge tree there we used to picnic under. And we watched the stars there a lot too…

 

“Every time one of us had a bad day we would go and just lay on a blanket in the bed of his truck and just lay there... for hours... we didn't talk really, it was relaxing."

Sam sighed, smiling as he remembered, "we would stay up so late, just talking, and then we'd scream at each other about it in the morning, trying to blame the other for keeping us up. Never serious though, of course, you know I... I don't think we ever had a serious fight. As for topping, we switched. Dates, the normal stuff, took turns taking each other out." 

 

Jessica smiled, taking his hand as he talked, this would be good for him, she knew it would. 

 

"On Valentine's Day, the fucking asshole, took me to the field, and just filled the bed of his trucks with pillows and blankets, like, made it into a fucking bed. It was amazing. Then when we got home the apartment was just filled with balloons. Each one had a note inside, something he loved about me, god there had to have been hundreds."

Sam chuckled, "after that we got in a little battle of who could out sap the other. Dean got caught in the crossfire at one point and told me he would throw up on me if he ever saw anything like that again." 

 

Jess giggled, "what exactly did he see?" 

 

Sam smiled proudly, "I hired a local music student, guitar, gorgeous voice, to follow him around and sing love songs I wrote him." 

 

Jessica burst out laughing, "oh my god I would have killed you." 

 

Sam smiled fondly, lifting her hand to his mouth and kissing her fingers. "Oh he got me back."

Her eyes widened, "no. How?" 

 

Sam tugged on her hand, leading them both to the couch and sitting down and pulling her onto his lap. "Got wheels put on his fucking piano and followed me around all day playing fucking ballads he wrote." 

 

Jess giggled, tucking herself up against her husband, "he composed?" 

 

Sam nodded, "he was brilliant, he was really into music, might have been famous if he had the chance. He tried to teach me once, it was awful. But he did manage to make me a better singer, he was a good voice coach." 

 

Jessica chuckled, "I wish I could have heard, especially his ballads, I love the piano." 

Sam hesitated for a moment, "you play, don't you?" 

 

Jess nodded looking up at him, still wrapped safely in his arms, "Gabe's baby grand is still in the old master, I... still have his ballads, if you want to play them." 

 

Jessica blinked up at him for a moment before smiling, "I think," she pressed a chaste kiss to his lips, "that's a brilliant idea."

 

~~~~

 

“Heya, Sammy! Guess what?!” Gabe cheered, jumping his boyfriend the second he opened the door. 

 

Sam laughed and scooped up the shorter man, spinning him in a circle and pressing their lips together just because he fucking could, and Gabriel was his, and nothing could possibly make him happier. “What,” he asked when he finally pulled away. 

 

Gabe seemed dazed for a second, staring at him blankly for a moment before he shook his head, a blinding smile spreading across his lips. “I got accepted to Stanford too! We can go together!!”

Sam almost dropped him, his entire body going slack as he relaxed from tension he hadn’t even known was there. 

 

“We should just get an apartment together, it’ll be better than sharing a dorm with who knows who, and we practically live together already, and you’re my boyfriend and I don’t like being away from you.” Gabe babbled, wrapping his arms and legs around Sam’s torso to hold himself up. 

 

“Yeah, yeah of course, I would love that, we should do that.” Sam breathed, beaming and hugging the smaller man tightly against him, “god I love you,” he mumbled against Gabe, freezing the second the words left his lips.

He knew he loved Gabe, had for a while, and he knew Gabe loved him. They had said it to each other as friends a hundred times, they knew where they stood, but this still was so much different. 

 

He pulled back, Gabriel’s wide eyes matching his own, “I do, I mean... I do love you.” 

 

Gabe nodded slowly, swinging his legs down and letting Sam set him down. “I love you, too, Sam” he breathed, looking up at his boyfriend, eyes still wide.

The next thing either of them knew, they were plastered together, kissing hungrily. 

 

“Fucking love you, Gabe, so much, fucking mine.” Sam growled against his boyfriend’s lips. 

 

“Love you too, Sammy. All yours, all fucking yours, anything you want, give you everything.” Gabe groaned back, hopping back up and wrapping his legs around Sam to put them on more even ground.

They finally pulled back minutes later, completely out of breath. They stared at each other for a moment, gulping down air and trying to calm their racing hearts, before bursting into a fit of – slightly hysterical – laughter. 

 

“We’re morons,” Gabe mumbled, swinging back down to the ground, stumbling slightly under his own weight. 

 

Sam caught him easily and nodded in agreement, “total morons.”

 

~~~~

 

“Sam, we have to talk.” Jess took a deep breath and stood in front of her husband. 

 

“yeah, babe, what is it?” Sam asked calmly, though his heart was racing, was she going to leave him? 

 

“I think we should sit down,” she wouldn’t meet his eye, oh god, she was leaving, oh no no no. 

 

“I’m so sorry, please don’t go, Jess. I love you so much, please.” Sam begged, grabbing at her hands desperately, he needed her, she was all he had left.

Jess shook her head, lightly stroking his hair. “Sam, shh, Sam, baby, I’m not leaving. I’m not going anywhere, relax, I need you to relax.” 

 

Sam paused, then nodded, why did that sound so familiar? “Th-then what is it?” 

 

Jessica sighed and sunk heavily to the couch, “Sam, I… I’m pregnant.” 

 

Sam fell to his knees in front of his wife, a slow smile spreading across his face. “I’m gonna be a dad?” 

 

She looked up, surprised, but nodded, smiling. “You’re gonna be a dad,” she confirmed, and Sam beamed, pressing a kiss to her stomach.

“Hey there, baby, I don’t know you yet, but I know I’m gonna love you more than anything. I’m gonna be the best daddy I can be, I promise, okay?” He murmured against her shirt, smoothing his hands over her sides. 

 

A strangled sob escaped Jess’ lips and Sam peeked up at her, “I was so nervous how you’d react.” She explained, and he moved up to the couch next to her, clasping her small hands in his. 

 

“I’ve never been happier baby girl, I can’t wait to meet them.” Jessica smiled and pressed a kiss to his lips.

“So… I was thinking, if it’s a boy, I… I want to name him Gabriel.” 

 

Sam sputtered, his eyes filling with tears. He was doing better. He was, he was doing good at work, he was being a better husband to Jess, and he was going to be the best father he could be, but it would hurt so much every time he heard his son's name…

 

He would need to get over the pain, though, because he would love to have a little baby Gabriel. And he would make sure they knew all about their namesake, how brave and funny and strong he was, and how he was such a good friend to daddy no matter what. 

 

He choked on a sob, squeezing Jess’ hands, “I think I would like that, a lot.”

 

~~~~

 

“Hey baby? What’s going on?” Sam smiles, holding his phone between his shoulder and ear as he poured himself a bowl of cereal. 

 

“Heya babe, I’m heading to the library. I have a lot to cram so I might be home late tonight, sorry, I know you hate going to bed alone.” Gabe adjusted his bag over his shoulder, smiling as her heard the fake sigh on the other line. 

 

“Alright” he dragged out the word for an extra moment, smiling to himself, “I guess your studies should come first.”

Gabriel chuckled lightly, adjusting his books in the crook of his arm. “I knew you’d understand, love, so what are you up to? Please tell me you aren’t having fruit loops for dinner again.” 

 

Sam slowly looked down at his bowl “uh, no,” he answered around a mouthful. 

 

“Oh god, you’re hopeless. I’m cooking you dinner tomorrow night, no arguments.” 

 

Sam chuckled, taking another bite, “I think I can live with that, anyway, I’m gonna finish my dinner and head to bed, I just took my last final and I’m ready to sleep for a month.” 

 

Gabe sighed, “you lucky bastard, how you think you did?”

“Not too bad, you know how hard I studied,” he slurped down the rest of the bowl and rinsed it out, leaving it in the sink, he could wash it later. 

 

“I do, I’m proud of you baby boy, get to sleep, I’ll see you in the morning.” 

 

Sam stifles a yawn, “alright baby, you don’t have class till noon on Wednesdays right? I’ll make you breakfast, chocolate pancakes.”

Gabe chuckled, biting his lip, “you sure know how to sweet talk a man, morning blow jobs it is!” He ignored the disgusted looks from a couple of girls and high fived a guy he was passing. 

 

“Aren’t you on campus?” Sam laughed, stripping into his boxers. 

 

“Yeah, your point? I love you, Sammy, get to sleep.” 

 

Sam smiled, tucking the covers around himself, “I love you too, Gabe, don’t be too late.”

“I won’t be, sweet dreams, gorgeous.” 

 

Sam hangs up his phone and sets it on the bedside table, snuggling further down into his cocoon of blankets. Even without Gabe next to him, the whole room smells like him, so it isn’t too hard for Sam to fall off into a deep sleep without the warm body next to him... It still sucked though.

“Gabe?” Sam mumbled, reaching out on the mattress next to him. It’s too cold and he sits up, searching the empty room. He looked at the alarm clock, flashing 3:28a.m. in bright red letters, Gabe should be home. 

 

“Gabriel?” He called, louder this time, swinging his legs to the floor and wandering out of their room. 

 

“Baby?” He walked down the hall, peeking in the bathroom and kitchen, no sign of his boyfriend.

_ Maybe he fell asleep in the library, the little bastard gets too into his studies during finals week, it wouldn’t be the first time. _

 

Sam sighed and headed back to bed, and uneasy knot forming in his stomach. He burrowed himself back into his pile of blankets, pulling Gabriel’s pillow to his chest. 

 

Gabe was fine, this definitely wasn’t the first and probably not the last time the older man had fallen asleep somewhere he probably shouldn’t, he’d be home in the morning for pancakes, no doubt. 

 

Still, Sam couldn’t fight the uneasiness, and it was nearly an hour before he managed to drift back into an uneasy sleep, and even then, his dreams were plagued with nightmares.

Sam woke up earlier than normal, immediately reaching out to the bed next to him. Still cold. 

 

“Gabriel?!” He shouted as he threw himself out of bed, slipping on a blanket and slamming into the wardrobe. The pain hardly registered as he flailed for his phone, dialing Gabe’s number and pressing it to his ear as he runs out of the room. 

 

“Hey, this is Gabe Milton-“ he hung up. _ Fuck Gabe stop letting your phone fucking die _ . 

 

The rest of the apartment was still empty, nothing moved. He runs back to his room and throws on the first shirt he finds, barely remembering to pull on pants, before running out the front door.

He sped to the campus, and sprinted into the library, “hi, uh, have you seen Gabriel Milton? About this tall, blond hair, gold eyes. He was wearing a black hoodie and jeans?” 

 

The receptionist stares at him for a moment, before starting to respond “uh, no, I-“ Sam is out the door before she finishes the sentence. 

 

He spends the rest of the morning running around the campus, talking to their friends, who haven’t seen him either, but agree tol look.

By noon Sam was in a full panic, and when Gabriel doesn’t show up to his twelve p.m. class he all but breaks down in the doorway. 

 

He ran back to the car, hardly thinking before pulling out his phone. “Dean... Dean Gabe is missing and I know you’re supposed to wait forty-eight hours or whatever bullshit but you’re a cop and you know Donna and Jody and I need you to look for him. He never came home last night, he isn’t in class, no one’s seen him, you have to-“

“Woah woah woah, Sammy, okay, I’ll report it, I need you to breathe baby bro.” 

 

Sam collapsed against the steering wheel, a sob wracking his chest. “Dean, he’s gone, what if someone took him, what if something happened? I should have been there, I should have told him to come home, this is all my fault. If he-“

“Sammy, stop, it isn’t your fault, we’ll find him, okay? I need you to breathe. Passing out isn’t going to help anything. Gabe needs you to keep a clear head, alright? Tell me what you know.” 

 

Sam takes a deep breath, trying to calm his sobs enough to talk, “okay, he was gonna stay out late at the library to study…”

 

~~~~

 

“Welcome home!” Sam beamed, holding a bundle of blue blankets in one arm, his other around Jess’ waist. “Go lay down, baby, I’ve got Gabe for now.” 

 

Jessica nodded gratefully, kissing his cheek before vanishing off to their room. 

 

“This is gonna be your home, Gabe, and this,” he walked into the old master bedroom, finally refurbished and painted a pale blue with animal decals, a crib and mobile in place in the corner. “Is your room, you’re mommy designed it all by herself.”

He sighs thinking about a  _ furious  _ Jessica when he had picked up the wrong shade of blue, she had definitely been a nightmare with the extra hormones, but she’d also never been more beautiful... 

 

He smiled and ran his fingers along the edge of the tiny blue cap on Gabe’s head. This was his child. His son. “I’m gonna be the best daddy ever for you, anything you want, kiddo. I’ll do anything for you, I love you so much.”

Gabe cooed, his eyes fluttering closed and Sam kissed his forehead, turning on the monitor and scampering off to his room to get some sleep. It was only nine, but he was sure he wouldn’t be getting much sleep for the next few years. He was more than willing to make the sacrifice.

“Sam, can you get him? Pumped milk is in the fridge,” Jess grumbled, lightly hitting Sam on the shoulder. 

 

Sam blinked awake, looking at the clock, midnight, “yeah I got it, go to sleep,” he stood up, barely hearing her `you’re the best` as he walked out of the room. 

 

“Come here, buddy, shh, it’s okay.” He scooped his baby up and walked to the kitchen, heating up the milk and offering Gabe the bottle when it was ready.

He settled almost immediately, and Sam headed to the nursery, sitting on the rocking chair and humming Brilliant Days until Gabriel fell back to sleep. He smiled, kissing him on the forehead again and trying to wrap his mind around the fact that he made this beautiful little human as he settled him back into his crib.

He didn’t remember going back to his room, or lying down, or even falling asleep, but the next thing he knows he's being woken up by a loud pounding. 

 

He grumbled angrily, stomping out to the living room. If this fucker woke the baby he was going to kill them. 

 

“Do you know what time it fu-“ he yanked open the door, ready to rip this dick a new one, but… those eyes. Everything he had been ready to say evaporated on his lips.

This… Can’t possibly be Gabriel. His eyes are nearly swollen shut, he’s covered in bruises and cuts, ranging from little scrapes to deep gashes. He’s caked in dirt and blood and other liquids Sam doesn’t want to think about... he looks like he just got back from sky-diving without a parachute. But still, it all gets worse when he talks, “heya, kiddo, ja miss me?”

That isn’t Gabriel’s voice, Gabe’s voice was a song in itself, that wasn’t it. This couldn’t be his Gabe. It just couldn’t, he didn’t want to believe it. His angel couldn’t be the one in this much pain. Couldn’t be the one suffering like this. 

 

The smaller man fell forward and Sam caught him, scooping into his arms and cradling him against his chest. He was too light. Much too light. He didn't want to believe this was Gabriel, but... he was back and he was alive and oh god he had to be in so much pain. 

 

Sam adjusted his grip, being as gentle as possible as he tries to assess the damage. “Oh, baby, what did they do to you?”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Songs  
> Bubblegum Bitch - Marina and the Diamonds  
> Brilliant Days - Daizystripper
> 
> Come chat with me on tumblr! The-queen-unitato.tumblr.com


End file.
